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Of love, marriage and conflict in Murang'a families

• In some families things turn toxic the moment wives are introduced into those families.

Conflict

War within family concept. Courtesy photo

Security, religious, and community leaders are now worried on how wives married into families are turning out to be a source of murderous conflict in Murang'a County.

There is worry that brothers and sisters who had enjoyed love and peace since childhood are turning against each other in some families the moment wives are introduced into those families.

Other wives are in jail today for plotting murder against their husbands over suspicions of infidelity or in greed for control of material wealth.

Other wives introduced into families have been reported to instigate court cases against in-laws seeking to disinherit them of family land.

“We are in a full blown family crisis on account of deadly conflicts that are being traced to seeds of discord planted by daughters and sisters in-law. It has reached a point where families must pray for mandatory blessing of wisdom in tackling the threat. Otherwise, we will be mourning till Jesus comes back,” quipped Murang'a Federation of Women Educationist (Fawe) coordinator Ms Cecilia Gitu.

Ms Gitu said the duty to ensure strangers introduced into families through love do not become consummate poison is a collective task of the society.

“Love and marriage should never be a source of conflict in our families. Wives married into our families must settle down to become peaceful part of us. This requires mutual respect for family boundaries. Those welcoming them into our families must also respect them,” she said.

In moments of conflicts, she cautioned, religious, and community leaders should sensitively pursue harmony, and peace.

“Chiefs and their village elders should be empowered to act as arbitrators in family conflicts. In some instances, where it is noted without any iota of doubt that the wife married into the family is incurably toxic, her and her husband should firmly be advised to move out of family compound and become tenants and any violent resistance be dealt with through arrest, charging, and conviction,” she said.

In the recent times, two(2) brothers have murdered two(2) of their blood brothers at the instigation of their wives.

Recently, a 45-year-old man in Githuya village was arrested on allegations that he was incited by his wife to beat up his own brother to death.

Police reported that the man was working in Nairobi when he received a call from his wife complaining that she had been insulted by her brother-in-law.

“It was on Saturday evening and the man boarded a Murang'a bound vehicle and arrived home at around 10pm. He is alleged that he rounded up his brother and set upon him with blows,” the then Murang'a South Police boss Alexander Shikondi wrote in his security report.

Mr Shikondi said the man inflicted serious injuries on the head, hands, and legs of the victim.

It was after the victim passed out that panic gripped the assailant and his wife.

“The wife rushed to Maragua police station at 10.30pm to bear false witness that the assaulted victim had during the day attempted to rape her,” Mr Shikondi said.

Meanwhile, Mr Shikondi said, the victim had been rushed to Murang'a Level 5 Hospital for treatment and was referred to Thika Level 5 Hospital in Kiambu County where he passed on at about 7pm.

Mr Shikondi said it was a terrible application of reasoning for one to travel more than 100 kilometres carrying a murderous anger against his own brother on account of an incident he was not witness, only relying on his wife's testimony.

This came as another family in Mathioya Sub-County was on the same day thrown into mourning after a 45-year-old man killed and buried his own mother,70, on claims that she favoured his brothers' wives.

The incident occurred at Kiamariga village and the suspect was arrested.

Last Sunday, a 30-year-old man in Ihumbu village was reported to have murdered his blood brother, six(6) years older, on claims that the deceased's wife had stolen his Sh50 worth of raw tripe popularly known as matumbo.

The suspect was arrested on Tuesday evening as he waited for a matatu at a nearby Mbombo village to escape from the area.

“These incidents and the many more that have become our trademark are a wakeup call to families. Ask yourselves what is this new poison in our families that is creeping in through marriage. Before you attack your own brother on grounds originating from your wife, think twice," said Murang'a Chairman of Council of Elders Mr Rigami Chombou.

"Much the more we talk of love binding us and adopting the strangers to become our sisters and daughters in law in our families, that important societal engagement in a worrying pattern now is becoming a virus that is tearing families apart," Mr Chombou said.

He urged brothers, sisters and parents to always approach disputes arising from sisters and daughters-in-law in a sensitive manner.

"This is especially so for our males. Do not arm yourself against your parents or brothers and sisters through motivation of your wives. If your wives feel wronged by any family member, do not take the law in your hands. Pursue dialogue and reconciliation," he advised.

tragedy